Man forced to marry goat

A Sudanese man has been forced to marry a goat after he was caught having sex with the animal.
The goat's owner, Mr Alifi, said he surprised the man with his goat and took him to a council of elders.
They ordered the man, Mr Tombe, to pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars, nearly £40, to Mr Alifi.
"We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together," Mr Alifi said.
Mr Alifi, told the Juba Post newspaper that he heard a loud noise around midnight and immediately rushed outside to find Mr Tombe with his goat.
"When I asked him: "What are you doing there?", he fell off the back of the goat, so I captured and tied him up."
Mr Alifi then called elders to decide how to deal with the case.
"They said I should not take him to the police, but rather let him pay a dowry for my goat because he used it as his wife," Mr Alifi told the newspaper.

The Donald goes at it AGAIN!

The Donald!

God you gotta love the guy. Too much make-up though.(click here) For God Sakes!...He looks like an oompa loompa!

Anyway. So the 5th season of the apprentice debuted last night. And boy what a show it was.

First of all, a LOT more brown people...With names like Tarek! Good Job apprentice.

Now, the girl who got kicked out. Summer. I think she deserved it. In the show last night both teams had to go into a Sam's Club and either sell as many memberships as they could or upgrade as many as they could...Doesn't matter. BUT, dainty ol' Summer managed to do nothing on the task.(she was asked to call business owners to do something or the other at the club, she only called one, didn't get any of them to come)

When Carolyn asks her what she did on the task...She looked like Porky the Pig. Less fat, a lot more stuttering. She's couldn't come up with a single piece of evidence towards her contribution. And then, when the Donald was about to fire Tarek (project manager) the fool decided to interject and throw in her two cents.

Of coure the Donald fired her, for rudely interrupting him, and she didn't even get to make her point.

Honestly...Trump makes the show...Can you imagine if it was The apprentice with Conrad Black, or Robert Irving? Eugh!

Sketch of the day!

AHHHHHHH!!!

You know those times you just want to go somewhere and scream and punch something? that's how I feel right now.

Pull up a chair, and bring out the toaster strudel

Well, Harry Potter's in my posession. And it's finally a decent version! Damn i'm so excited, I can't wait. I missed the movie in theatres, and I finally get to watch the damn thing!

After this it's Munich, and then Capote.

Another Zinger!

Cartoon of the day

Finally SOMEONE says it!

Picture me...Picture you.

You know, I really want to get back into photography. I'm by far not amazing at it, but it's so calming and relaxing. One of my co-workers does it, and he takes beautiful pictures. Also, NF showed me her pictures. And that got me wanting to take some of my own. And not with a digital, I want to do it with film. It's expensive though. So let's see.

Put on a pot of coffee, Martha...I'm reading again!

Ok, so I went out to buy a few books yesterday. It's all part of my plight to start reading again. I was an avid reader when I was younger, but when high school hit, I gave it up.

Now I want to get back into it. I started with Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling. I've read the entire series, and I wanted to read the book for the movie.

After that I moved on to my personal favourite (which I've read about 4 times) The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger.

After that I bought a book by Michael Moore called Will They Ever Trust Us Again? : Letters From the War Zone. It's a collection of letters from soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan, and some war veterans. It was intended to bring down George Bush before the 2004 election, as did his movie Farenheit 9/11. Both of which failed their ultimate purpose.

Which leads me to books I bought yesterday. One is Man on Fire, on which the movie of the same name is based. With Denzel Washington, and Dakota Fanning. It's written in 1980, by A.J. Quinnell--which is a pseudonym of the writer's real name. The book states that the author

wishes to remain anonymous because his future books will detail intrigues between nations and cultures and will move freely over international boundaries.
He desires the same freedom for himself.

Judging from the movie, It's fairly harsh towards other countries in terms of kidnappings and such. Which is why the author would have been afraid of persecution. Looking forward to a great read.

The second book is Surrender The Pink By Carrie Fisher. The clerk told me that she's an excellent writer, and "NF" always said that she's wanted to read something from Fisher. I can't wait to jump into that one!

The last one I bought on a whim when I saw it. Film Theory and Ctiticism edited by Gerald Mast and Marshall Cohen. And it's supposed to be the bible for the Film industry.

I'll tell you about them as I'm done reading them.

Walk The Line

I took in this movie last night, and I was quite surprised. In a good way. Before this movie came out, I had only heard of Johnny Cash once. And when it was out, I started downloading his songs, and getting more and more into his work. Then, Bravo (I think it was) had this biography documentary on Cash, and I really got to know the guy. But of course with all biographies, they almost always portray the person in question in a positive light.

Well, Walk the Line wasn't afraid to go in the other direction. The movie stops short of where his career really picks up, gives up the pills, and is finally a good father. But it shows Cash as a man who is consumed with stardom, and uses the pills to get away from his family and fans and the constant rejection from June Carter. I guess the Cash I, personally, never knew. That's why it was a really good movie.

The only thing I didn't like about it was Joaquin Phoenix. I don't know why, I really hate this guy. I always thought he had a cleft lip (I am very disgusted with deformities--I don't know why) but according to IMDB, "Contrary to popular belief, the scar on his lip is not the result of a repaired cleft lip or palate. It is simply a birth mark. Phoenix has stated in interviews that, while pregnant with him, his mother felt a sharp pain one day, and he was born with a mark on his lip."

But even without the lip, I just think he's a bad actor. But again according to IMDB, "Johnny Cash chose Joaquin Phoenix to play him in the film. June Carter Cash reportedly chose Reese Witherspoon for her role in the film. Also."

So I don't know. Cash obviously saw something in the man, why can't I! I thought Reese Witherspoon did an excellent job playing June Carter, her singing was excellent. Phoenix's singing was amazing. I loved how he sounded more and more like Cash as the movie went along...Kind of showing how Cash grew into the voice we all know now.

Warning: Nudity!

This is the funniest picture I've seen in a long time!...Go Ms. Piggy!

Canada Post Pt. 4

By the way, to update you.

Since my last encounter with Canada Post, I haven't really contacted them again. I'm so lazy! But I have to do it this week. I think the package might have gone back to the sender, so I have no clue where it is right now!

Bird Flu

Well folks, it's coming and there's nothing you can do about it...Yes that's right...Bird flu!



but wait...I have NEWS for you!

I'm going to give you an explanation of how the disease spreads.

This is from an interview that I did with Dr. Jim Goltz, a vetenarian with the Government of New Brunswick.

This is what The Estate Doctors Association reports the H5N1 virus looks like.

According to Dr. Goltz the whole problem stems from infected birds. The virus can only spread to a human if they come in contact with a bird that has the virus, dead or alive.

So how does it spread?...Well Dr. Goltz says it spreads through secretions. So if a chicken or a duck were to defecate in a pool of water, and another bird or animal were to drink from that source, then that animal would be infected. Same works if the infected bird might defecate in, or close to, an area where others are feeding. Those are the only ways that it can spread.

That's also the only way it can spread to humans. Which is why many of the people who have died of the disease are farmers. Most of them have come in direct contact with an infected bird, specifically the anus, which is how they contracted it.

So how would it get into Canada? Well Dr. Goltz says there aren't a lot of ways. Although Canada is very strict about its livestock imports, accidents happen. And a bird could cross the border and into Canada. Now, keep in mind that the meat would be frozen, however the virus can live very easily in these conditions. Dr. Goltz says it actually thrives in freezing cold.

The other way it could come into Canada is smuggling, which of course is rare. But Dr. Goltz says another type of bird could have the disease, like an eagle for example, and if that's smuggled in, the virus could spread. And yet another way it could come into the country is through wild birds. That's the most likely way. Ducks and Geese traveling back to Canada after heading south for the winter, or those that might be migrating to the country might carry the virus.

So how do you NOT get infected by the Avian Influenza?

Well Dr. Goltz says just be careful. If you're a farmer, poultry in particular, or you visit a poultry farm wash up when you leave. Dr. Goltz says disinfect your hands, wash your shoes or boots, and wash your clothes. If you're handling uncooked chicken make sure you disinfect everything.

That means wiping down the counter, properly washing your utensils, and washing your hands. Dr. Goltz says that doesn't mean just rinsing. He says you have to use soap, or some disinfectant. Further more, make sure the chicken is cooked. It sounds like a no-brainer, but that's the only other way it could travel into your system. So make sure the mean is properly cooked.

Well there you have it. That's the only ways that I know of. Now I'm not an expert on this topic by any means, I suggest if you want to know more about the topic that you contact your local Bird Flu specialist (you can usually find them at the government level whether it's provincial or federal) and talk to them about any questions you have.

Enjoy!

GOLD!!!!!!

That's right people, Canada wins yet another gold. This time in Curling. Now I know what you're thinking...Curling?...Who cares about curling. Well...I don't see a gold around your neck so there!

Ok, so I had to learn all about curling in a day, and while it's a bit tough to learn, I have to say once you know it...It's quite an enjoyable game.

If you want to learn about how to play the sport...Go here...And launch the flash animation.

So why is it such a big deal?...Well that's because a local 'Monctonian' (I hate that term) Russ Howard was on the team...And is essentially a curling god....And incidently he's also a Remax real estate agent. (You have to make a living if you're in sports...Canada doesn't give you handouts like the other countries)

And Howard has quite a curling resume....He's the world champion in the sport....More than once...And I guess this is just the hilight of his whole career.

BEWARE! Money can make you shameless

ok, So I'm watching the Grammy's right now, and i have to rant.

Kanye West and Jamie Foxx, singing Golddigger.

Let me say first, Kanye West is an entertainer...he portray's him self as one...acts as one...and lets everyone know that he is one...even if you don't care....

so that begs the question...why can't this guy perform like an entertainer.

First off let's say...the song is very over-rated...it's a good song for sure, BUT...too played out...and too hyped up.

Now onto his performance...It was this Drum Line rip off sort of thing...that seemed more like the first band practice of the year in high school than an actual performance from a guy who does this regurarly.

And then he sang Touch the sky...or atleast a little part of it...and the tune is a sample from Curtis Mayfield's Move on up...and that for me was the only hi-light....hearing that song in the background.

Smarmy Bastard!

CANADA POST PART 3

BAHHHHHH!!!!

I have a feeling these guys lost the damn package...i went to the actual post office where the package should have been...and what do they tell me my fickle friends?...

We don't have a package under that name....the bastards!.....bah!....and better yet...they gave me a reccomendation....CALL CUSTOMER SERVICE!

customer service?...i know customer service...all they do is BLAME YOU!....that's right canada....all those customer service buggers do is BLAME YOU!!!

let me give you an example.

I ordered a certain cable service in my homestead....and the deal went like this....if you order this package...you'll get all these channels for FREE....the two greatest words in the world...FR and EE.....

So youR humble friend accepted....and three months down the road...the package was to expire...i was to go back to regular cable....

and then i get the bill...$123.45....what????...so i called customer service...and

you know what they tell me?

You were supposed to call in...and cancel it yourself....WHAT?...you offer the service...and i have to cancel it?....

You see canada?....THEY BLAME YOU!!!

Don't feed the deer!!!

OH DEAR!...ahahaha....ok...here's what i learn't today...

if you see a deer in your back yard...or on the side of the road....DON'T FEED IT.

aparently deers are used to "feeding areas" where they, and their fellow deer usually go to eat 'buds and twigs'...so when you feed the damn things...they get used to it...and eventually aren't used to finding those areas....

and if you stop feeding the deer....the smart ones try and find other sources...the 'not-so-smart' ones...keel over like babmi.

another useless fact:

deer store fat over the year....so when winter hits...they just live off the fat...

here's a thought...if a fat person stopped eating through the winter...could they survive?

hmmm

Canada Post part 2.

ok...so after my venture into canada post-the sortation plant .

i went to Canada post-the distribution plant.


I was instructed to go there by the last place. I walked in...and had to buzz to get someone to open the door (Cause im really going to go in there and steal someone's visa bill)....but she was cute...so whatever....

she led me to a manager...and he checks into it and says...oh no...it's not here....it's at the post office...

DAMN...i wish they told me that in the first place....

so i took a quick trip to the post office...and the line-up was a huge bastard....so long story short...im going to go back later...in hopes that they will have a shorter line...

One thing i have to say though...the people at canada post are really nice....and 10 times more helpful than they need to be....

i don't know why they go postal an shoot people...hmmm....

JAH...WHAT THE HELL?

ok, so i haven't blogged in a long time...truth is...if i don't have the internet at home...there's no point in the blogging.

why?...cause it's thought by thought based....if i have a thought....i write it down...i don't hold it over to the next day to rant about it.

BUT...lo and behold i have a rant.




yes...canada post....the rat bastards. (sorry for the crappy picture)


ok...so here's the deal...i had a package coming to me...it's a camera..apparently as slim as a credit card. i bought it from E-Bay, and then waited...and waited....and waited some more.

So i emailed the seller, and they told me they sent it a while ago...and gave me the tracking number...
So i find the package with canada post...and what do they say?...oh we sent it to you...bastards...


Look...i wouldn't be as peeved if it hasnt been a month...after trying to call someone for what seemed like hours...i finally went down to their distribution office...and they say...someone went to your apartment....you should have gotten it....if not you should have gotten a note....

guess what???....NO NOTE!!!

apparently they're holding it at someplace...and i have to pick it up later...

bastards...again i say.